In an event sending shockwaves around the Mortal Realms, word has arrived that Archaon the Everchosen, Grand Marshall of the Apocalypse, and Herald of the End Times, has been slain by a grot.
The grot in question, Whiff the Never-Picked, was not available for comment. However a witness to the scene was able to provide us with the following description:
‘So Archaon had just rampaged into this horde of grots, and had slain probably around 39 of them. But the last little guy was standing near this big statue of a moon, and it psyched him right up. He ran in, stabbing away, and managed to prick Archaon a couple of times. He was a small little bugger, and the Grand Marshall just couldn’t hit him with anything. The grot must have poked him around twenty times when Archaon just suddenly keeled over, dead.’
This news has taken the Azyr High Command by complete surprise, with several tacticians estimating the odds of this occurring as being seventeen octoquinquagintillion, seven hundred ninety-six septenquinquagintillion to one. What impact this event will have on the Mortal Realms is impossible to predict, but it will undoubtedly be remembered as the stuff of legends.
Editor’s note: We have since been advised that Archaon has returned, and is continuing to make life miserable for everyone. Whiff the Never-Picked remains mysteriously unavailable, and there is a reward out for his location.
The Azyr Weekly 