Orruks not green, just envious

Shock in the Mortal Realms this week as researchers in Azyr make an earth-shaking discovery – orruks are not naturally green, but are instead made that way due to their fundamentally envious nature.

The finding was made after an orruk was given the loudest firearm available from the Ironweld Arsenal, the fastest mount to be found in Hysh, and a pair of stilts which made him as tall as a mega-gargant. Upon receiving these goods the orruk’s skin immediately faded to a gentle lavender, and the orruk adopted a pleasant demeanour.

The implications are tremendous but application on the field has proven troubling, since only a single orruk can possibly be pacified this way at a single time. Efforts have instead pivoted to encouraging orruks to compare themselves against internal goals, rather than against their peers. However, just like their human counterparts, orruks have struggled to adopt this mindset and have instead taken to trying to prove their mindfulness through ritual bouts of ‘meditation’. That these often devolve into headbutting contests to prove who has the ‘strongest head’ has not filled Azyrite scholars with hope.

Interest in Gobbapalooza entrance exam skyrockets

It has been a busy week in Skrappa Spill as hundreds of hopeful young grots register to take the tests to enter the prestigious Smart’nz Akademy – the first step in becoming a fully registered gobbapallozee.

The sudden spike in interest was caused by Skragrott’s reforms to Gobbapaloozas, which have overnight made them a highly desirable pick for any Gloomspite horde. What was previously considered something of a useless qualification has become a guarantee of a shromfull life.

The madness sweeping the grot nations has seen some criticism, with Loonbosses concerned that the swelling numbers of Gobbapaloozas might represent a brain drain from the traditionally prestigious Fungoid Cave-Shaman class. They have petitioned Skragrott to only allow once such grouping per horde, or at the very least place a limit on their newly acquired powers. The Loonking himself was unavailable to comment, as he was preoccupied with finding a food source big enough to feed his newly acquired flood of squigs.

Firebelly still searching for sense of belonging

Neither a Beastclaw Raider nor a Gutbuster, the lonely Firebelly leads a solitary existence. Worshipping Gorkamorka as the Sun Eater, the Firebelly hopes to emulate his god through the consumption and belching of flame. However they often find that life needs more than just the ability to breath fire.

“I look at other ogors, and they have mates and good pals,” confided one Firebelly to us. “Sometimes I feel close to the Sun Eater, and that’s good. But it would be more good to have other ogors to share it with.”

Our readers will be pleased to know that this story has a happy ending. After being encouraged to speak with his Butcher cousins, the Firebelly has found a home within a Gutbuster warglutt.

“Every morning I heat up the Mawpot, and every evening I set up the campfires. I’m breathing just as much fire as before, but now with the company of friends. The Maw is good.”