Great Horned Rat kicked from the Teams chat

Chaos amongst the Ruinous Powers today as the Great Horned Rat is removed from the group chat used to organise after work drinks.

“They weren’t fitting the vibe at all,” confided an anonymous source. “Spamming the chat at all hours with unfunny memes, constantly starting group calls and tagging everyone, it was either the rat got kicked or the rest of them left.”

The group chat was hosted via Mortisoft Teams, a series of linked artefacts developed by the Ossiarch Mortisans to increase productivity amongst the Bonereaper legions. Its ease of use and library of GIFs (Geist-powered Imaging Foci) have contributed to its popularity outside of the legions of Death.

The Great Horned Rat has not taken the situation sitting down, and was quick to start up their own chat with the similarly fringe Duardin god Hashut. Our contacts have confirmed that this new arrangement has been working out terribly, as the ancestral enemies battle to send the most insulting, offensive messages that they can think of. At the latest report the Great Horned Rat is winning, on account of not knowing how to read.

Morathi-Khaine gone woke? Acolytes wearing pants, shirts

Fury in Ulgu today as it becomes obvious that Morathi-Khaine, living god of the Daughters of Khaine, has kowtowed to the feminists. Long known for going into battle in skimpy underwear, the Daughters have begun rolling out a more extensive, ‘thorough’ line of uniforms.

“Honestly, nobody’s missing it,” confirmed Shear Twoknives. “The old uniform really limited our options, deployment wise. The new ones are much more comfortable, and definitely feel more secure.”

Others outside the cult aren’t too sure, however, and have been vocal in their disagreement. 

“Well it was an important piece of their culture, innit?” commented a tourist visiting Har Kuron who didn’t wish to be named. “It was empowering for them, I heard. It’s sad to see, is all.”

The move has admirers of the humanoid form on high alert, fearing that other factions will follow suit. In particular, petitions have been sent to the Slann asking them to swear off shirts forever, and a formal request lodged with Nagashizarr to consider Nagash’s crop top an artefact of realmwide importance.

This Dawnbringer Crusade brought to you by UlguVPN

After months of financial difficulties, the Grand Conclaves of the Free Cities have bitten the bullet and accepted sponsorships for new Dawnbringer Crusades.

The opportunity has been taken up by several companies, the most prominent being Ulgu’s Various Protective Necklaces (or UlgaVPN for short). They offer a range of affordable talismans that purport to hide you from even Sigmar’s gaze (note from the Order of Azyr: There is no hiding from Sigmar’s gaze).

The sponsorships vary in magnitude, with some only requiring that the sponsor’s emblem be emblazoned on the crusade’s banners. Others require the regular reciting of a pre-written speech, and will immediately withdraw their support if this condition is not met. This has resulted in the decimation of several crusades, who must pause mid-battle in order to fish out their scripts.

As time goes on and the benefits of such sponsorships become clear, more companies are entering the market themselves. Other sponsors include the drug delivery service HelloSlaanesh, leyline building resource Kroakspace, and Raid: Shadow Legends.