Morathi-Khaine gone woke? Acolytes wearing pants, shirts

Fury in Ulgu today as it becomes obvious that Morathi-Khaine, living god of the Daughters of Khaine, has kowtowed to the feminists. Long known for going into battle in skimpy underwear, the Daughters have begun rolling out a more extensive, ‘thorough’ line of uniforms.

“Honestly, nobody’s missing it,” confirmed Shear Twoknives. “The old uniform really limited our options, deployment wise. The new ones are much more comfortable, and definitely feel more secure.”

Others outside the cult aren’t too sure, however, and have been vocal in their disagreement. 

“Well it was an important piece of their culture, innit?” commented a tourist visiting Har Kuron who didn’t wish to be named. “It was empowering for them, I heard. It’s sad to see, is all.”

The move has admirers of the humanoid form on high alert, fearing that other factions will follow suit. In particular, petitions have been sent to the Slann asking them to swear off shirts forever, and a formal request lodged with Nagashizarr to consider Nagash’s crop top an artefact of realmwide importance.

This Dawnbringer Crusade brought to you by UlguVPN

After months of financial difficulties, the Grand Conclaves of the Free Cities have bitten the bullet and accepted sponsorships for new Dawnbringer Crusades.

The opportunity has been taken up by several companies, the most prominent being Ulgu’s Various Protective Necklaces (or UlgaVPN for short). They offer a range of affordable talismans that purport to hide you from even Sigmar’s gaze (note from the Order of Azyr: There is no hiding from Sigmar’s gaze).

The sponsorships vary in magnitude, with some only requiring that the sponsor’s emblem be emblazoned on the crusade’s banners. Others require the regular reciting of a pre-written speech, and will immediately withdraw their support if this condition is not met. This has resulted in the decimation of several crusades, who must pause mid-battle in order to fish out their scripts.

As time goes on and the benefits of such sponsorships become clear, more companies are entering the market themselves. Other sponsors include the drug delivery service HelloSlaanesh, leyline building resource Kroakspace, and Raid: Shadow Legends.

“We’ve always had a strong rune culture” – Lumineth and Fyreslayers at loggerheads

One of the oldest rivalries in the Mortal Realms has escalated as Fyreslayer elders react in horror to the Lumineth’s new battlefield rune system.

“Runes mean duardin, and duardin mean runes!” insisted Wylim Thwackhammer, Vostarg Spokesfather. “These flouncy elgi think, just because they have tall towers and magic tricks, that they can take whatever they like.”

The Lumineth have rejected this characterisation, explaining that they engaged duardin runic advisers when crafting their own rune system. They will also be donating 5% of any treasure gained to charities involved in giving shirts to impoverished duardin youth.

“We hope to honour our duardin allies with our new runes, and build on the rich cultural legacy that they have gifted us.”