Gnomad trail goes off course, passes through Varanspire

Confusion in the Eightpoints today as Archaon and his Varanguard bore witness to a Gnomad caravan crashing directly through the Varanspire. Taken completely by surprise the Herald of the Apocolypse was unable to take any retributive action, staring dumbfounded as the Feastmasters herded their charges along the trail and straight through his supposedly impenetrable defences.

The situation is nigh unprecedented, with Chaos scholars unable to explain the cause. The Gnomad trails, magical arteries of life that course through the Realms, were thrown into disarray during the Necroquake and have reportedly gone off course with increasing regularity. However this is the first reported instance of a trail passing so near to the Realm of Chaos. 

The Gnomads reportedly took the encounter with stoic determination, keeping their heads down as they trudged on through the Chaotic stronghold. This comes as no surprise to the few experts who specialise in the near-mythical race. We spoke to Feastmaster expert Warren Datsonn for more:

“The Gnomads take two things seriously; food, and their duty on the trails. It is their job to guide the wildlife of the Realms along these paths, whether that’s to take them to greener pastures, ancestral breeding grounds, or anything of the sort. If the Everchosen didn’t take any action against the Feastmasters, then I’m sure they would have just kept to themselves and kept going.”

The Varanguard are currently engaged in cleaning up after the procession, repairing the rubble left by the passage of rugged crag-ibexes and sturdy caravans. Particular damage has been down to the fortress’ granaries, with much of the Varanspire’s stores purloined by intrepid Trail Thieves. Whether the food is considered palatable by the Gnomads is anybody’s guess, though Archaon can be assured that anything not fit for the table will be returned via Gnomad Hot Pot should the trail ever pass that way again.

(Editor’s Note: Like what you’ve read? Check out the beta version of Battletome: Gnomad Feastmasters and other details here.)

Skaven increasingly doubt existence of man-things

Rumours abound in the underburrows of a race of creatures living on the surface world, standing on two-legs like a Skaven but relatively hairless and without a tail. Named ‘humans’ by those on the fringe of decent Skaven society, there is a rising pushback from those who deny their very existence.

“Elf-things? Sure-sure. Ghost-things? I’ve heard of them. But man-things? I don’t know any Skaven that’s seen one in the skin-flesh.”

True believers in humanity’s existence have struggled to provide any evidence to support their claim. The existence of the Stormcast Eternals is well-known within Skavendom, but their similarities to the proposed human form have been brushed off as a coincidence given their clearly magical providence. So-called human worshippers of Chaos have been labelled ‘low-tier daemons’, and the skeletal legions of the Soulblight are considered to have been formed from the bones of short and ugly aelfs. 

One group of Skaven, the Clan-Pack for Proof-Finding of Man-Things, have scrounged together enough warpstone to fund an expedition to the surface to locate one of the fabled Cities of Sigmar. These metropolises, reportedly jam-packed full of humans, are considered by the group to be their best bet in proving the existence of humanity.

Update: We have just received word that the Skaven delegation have vanished without a trace. The Clan-Pack claim that they were intercepted and destroyed by scouts from Hammerhal Aqsha, their intended destination, pointing to a conspiracy to keep humanity’s existence secret. Their detractors have suggested the group merely took the warpstone and ran.

“They must be up to something” – Gloomspite Gitz’ underperformance sparks desperate hope

It has been several days since the much-anticipated re-emergence of the Gloomspite Gitz failed to materialise, the spotlight instead being stolen by the Mawtribes and Sons of Behemat. Supporters of the diminutive greenskins were initially left flabbergastered, but have since gathered themselves and developed a hypothesis – the grots are waiting for something bigger.

“Da Bad Moon wouldn’t leave us like this,” insisted one Gloomspite devotee. “Skragrott’s gonna come back riding a troggoth I bet. Or maybe they’ll have developed a new kind of Spiderfang spider. Squigs with even bigger teeth are a possibility too. All I know is, this can’t be it!”

Cynics have done little to engage with the fans, seemingly loath to lay into a git while they’re down. Instead they have restricted themselves to gently correcting obvious falsehoods, such as the rumour that any grot pledging themselves to Chaos will be included in Archaon’s own revamp at the end of the year.

For any readers hoping to support the Gloomspite in their time of need, there will be an Adopt-a-Trogg drive next week where contributors can fund the growth and maintenance of a Dankhold Troggoth.* 

*Please note that any individuals seen attending this event will be arrested immediately for treason against Sigmar.