“Monkey-thing not my ancestor!” claims young-realms creationist

A debate that started in the heart of Blight City has spread throughout the Gnaw as newly-qualified Night Runners not only swear off any connection to their simian forbears, but the concept of an Age of Myth entirely.

“It is obvious-clear that Skaven race is only 300 years old,” insisted movement spokesrat Ken Hammhamm. “Any connection to hideous monkey-things is plot by duardin to mock superior master race, yes-yes.”

However, the evidence provided by the Skaven is shaky, and not widely accepted by the learned of Azyr.

“Through the use of rigorously applied magic, we can be confident that the Mortal Realms are tens of thousands of years old. If not older! The age of the stone, the fossils we’ve found buried in the earth, it all points to the same conclusion: that the Mortal Realms are a beautiful symphony that emerged gradually from great clouds of congealing magic. Not, as some would suggest, a few hundred years ago from the droppings of a giant rat.”

Ken Hammhamm has been dismissive of the claims, characterising his detractors as simply being jealous of Skavendom’s inherent supremacy. As we go to print he has begun fundraising for what he is calling a Creation Museum, a project he hopes to rally support to his cause. Planned exhibitions include an orrery demonstrating how the realms all orbit Blight City, and a diorama of Thanquol riding on a Stegadon.

Overpopulation of Shadow Realm caused by Ancient Pharaoh

Malerion, Morathi-Khaine and other denizens of Ulgu have been caught off-guard by a mysterious newcomer – the soul of a mystic monarch calling itself ‘the Pharaoh’, inhabiting the soul of a teenaged boy.

Reports indicate that things began almost imperceptibly, with the occasional newcomer appearing in Ulgu in a flash of light. Each reported having been challenged by the Pharaoh to a children’s card game, the rules of which would he would make up on the fly. All report being defeated in the game, given a lecture in morality by the deep-voiced child and then suddenly appearing in Ulgu.

The Order of Azyr have begun a manhunt for what they now consider to be a significant threat to all of Sigmar’s people. They urge citizens to beware of a shapeshifter with a flamboyant hairstyle and deck of cards, often accompanied by his chief minions; the Chaos Sorcerer and the Chaos Sorcerer Girl.

Great Horned Rat kicked from the Teams chat

Chaos amongst the Ruinous Powers today as the Great Horned Rat is removed from the group chat used to organise after work drinks.

“They weren’t fitting the vibe at all,” confided an anonymous source. “Spamming the chat at all hours with unfunny memes, constantly starting group calls and tagging everyone, it was either the rat got kicked or the rest of them left.”

The group chat was hosted via Mortisoft Teams, a series of linked artefacts developed by the Ossiarch Mortisans to increase productivity amongst the Bonereaper legions. Its ease of use and library of GIFs (Geist-powered Imaging Foci) have contributed to its popularity outside of the legions of Death.

The Great Horned Rat has not taken the situation sitting down, and was quick to start up their own chat with the similarly fringe Duardin god Hashut. Our contacts have confirmed that this new arrangement has been working out terribly, as the ancestral enemies battle to send the most insulting, offensive messages that they can think of. At the latest report the Great Horned Rat is winning, on account of not knowing how to read.