Awkward and Uncomfortable – Waaagh! Fails to Find Natural End

An orruk’s worst fear has hit the Brutes of Waaagh! Gaklug. The Waaagh!, despite not being much fun anymore, has failed to disperse in a natural way. This has left many of the participating orruks in an awkward state of limbo.

“Weze had good times,” admitted Daklad, one of the Brutes. “Smashed ‘umie cities, krumped some spikey lads. But dat’s all done now, and we want to go home.”

Normally an orruk Waaagh! will end with the slaughter of all involved, or gradually splinter off into its constituent tribes. Both of these outcomes present a natural, polite way for an orruk to part ways with the hosting Megaboss. Waaagh! Gaklug however has headed down the dreaded third path, known amongst Orruks as “da Zogged Squig”. We asked an expert to explain:

“The Zogged Squig is an unpleasant stage for any orruk warparty. It represents a time where the warparty maintains all the physical capability to make war, such as weapons and a significant number of orruks, but it lacks a sense of passion or drive. This is a foreign concept for an orruk, and it can lead to a significant amount of distress.”

This sense of boredom has led to many orruks emulating their grot cousins, hatching a number of schemes to escape the awkward situation. At last report a number of Brutes had a plan to fake a piece of squigmail calling them back to their hometribe. We will keep you posted with any developments.

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