Generals across the Mortal Realms have submitted a formal complaint to Sigmar, upon his failure to update the Authorised Pantheon Parchment (colloquially known as the APP) alongside his new rules of war issued last month. A copy of this mystical artefact is traditionally handed out to every aspiring warlord, and contains within its depths not only the tabulated rules of war but also an overview of every military force currently mobilised in the Mortal Realms.
“It is fantastically annoying,” confirmed Vanari Lord Regent Samu’el Glossyhair. “Why only the other week we had to pause a battle with the Idoneth to settle a dispute regarding the correct way to cast Arcane Bolt. Normally with the APP we could have settled it in seconds, but as it was I had to send Dawnriders back to the Library of Hysh to check the scrolls there! We got the answer a week later, and only after half of them were murdered by a rogue crab. Complete waste of time.”
There has been no word from the walls of Sigmaron, despite the pleas of many. Missives previously indicating a sort of in-progress version of the APP to be released this month have been magically adjusted to indicate a more nebulous ‘this year’. Some generals in a fit of desperation have turned to the mythical Scribe of Battles, Greater Daemon of Tzeentch, who promises great knowledge to those able to navigate their esoteric maze.
For those individuals out there waiting for the new APP, we recommend checking your old parchments. Rumours of them levitating valuables out of your pockets and vanishing them away to Sigmaron are seen as credible by our fact checkers and should be taken seriously.