General saves big, assembles army via lucky dip

It was a quiet year for Reginald the Oblique, famed Freeguild general. However he has vowed to set the new year off with a bang, submitting a requisition order for “whatever soldiers you have spare at the moment”, and receiving them at a significant discount.

When we last spoke to Reginald, he was engrossed in sorting out his new army. It was a cavalcade of emotions in the war room as he rejoiced over receiving a pair of Stormdrake, and then despaired over the veritable legion of Doomfire Warlocks he now needed to find stables for.

There was a moment of drama when he found Gordrakk, the Fist of Gork, in his list. Supposedly feeling neglected by his own people, Gordrakk was hoping to make the leap to a faction that would appreciate him. Reginald is supposedly considering the offer, and is weighing up the expected tonnage-per-day of aetherwings it will take to keep Bigteef, the surly greenskin’s mount, fed.

Nagash soul-construct just re-coloured Stormcast Eternal

The feud between Sigmar and Nagash has continued this past week, with Nagash revealing what he claims is the next step in soul engineering. He has faced quick and violent backlash however as adversaries point out he has simply colour shifted a Stormcast Eternal.

“This just goes to show the lack of imagination possessed by the Necromancer,” proclaimed Vandus Hammerhand, Sigmar’s Lord-Spokesperson. “We demand an immediate removal of this insulting mockery, and a public apology for the obvious transgression.”

Nagash has so far refused to respond to criticisms, and his objective remains unknown. The most likely motivation, according to experts, is simply that the Great Necromancer has run out of ideas and energy since his defeat at the hands of Teclis, and is relying on cheap imitations while he regains his power. 

Editor’s note: Nagash has recently released a statement, indicating that he has reached an agreement with Sigmar regarding the use of Stormcast imagery. He has also pledged not to misuse the imagery of any other major god, though reserves the right to do so ‘if he feels like it.’

Ironclad flees airborne Stonehorn

Terror and fear in the skies above tonight as the Iron Profit, an Arkanaut Ironclad of the Barak-Nar skyport, makes full speed ahead to escape the charge of a maraudering, and unfortunately flying, Stonehorn.

We publish our story on the second day of the Profit’s escape, our news gyrocopter barely keeping pace with the frantic flight. Using an enchanted loud speaker we asked the captain and crew for any comment they wanted to provide, but received only panicked shouts and curses in response.

According to experts on the ground, there are few options available for the fleeing Ironclad. The most popular, though least likely to work, relies on the vessel still maintaining stocks of the previously standard-issue Warp-Lightning-Vortex-in-a-Bottle. Older models grounded their victims when deployed, an ability which could very well save the Iron Profit’s hull today. If the vessel is unable to find such a device, then its options narrow to blasting the Stonehorn out of the sky (which would require a severely unprofitable expenditure of ammunition), or simply hoping that the beast gets bored and stops. Given the notoriously rock-hard brains of the beasts, this last option seems unlikely.