Skaven life insurance proven bad idea, none surprised

After months of dithering and flip-flopping, what many had previously described as inevitable has come to pass; Ratson & Ratson, an insurance company catering to the Skaven market, has finally collapsed.

The company began one year ago as Ratson & Ratson & Ratson, hoping to corner the as-of-then untapped Skaven market. They offered insurance on prized trophies and warmachines in case of theft, as well as life insurance for Skaven warlords.

Initially skyrocketing demand proved to be their downfall as thousands of ambitious underlings took out policies on their overlords minutes before they suffered unfortunate exploding helmet incidents. Efforts by underwriters to identify those at highest risk of death were met with aggressive pushback, particularly by the assassins of Clan Eshin. It was at this point the firm was forced to change their name to Ratson & Ratson.

The following months of downsizing, restructuring, and pleading to the Council of Thirteen did little to save the company, with almost all of their policies paying out within minutes and their claim managers falling victim to an illness known as the Broker’s Pox. Suggestions of considering ‘Skaven’ to be a pre-existing condition were disregarded.

Addendum: We have just received reports that Ratson & Ratson has been bought out by the enterprising Warlock-Engineer Darqen, who was impressed with the amount of death and carnage it was able to deal out in such a short space of time. Skyre’s ongoing attempts to weaponise insurance continue unabated.

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