“Monkey-thing not my ancestor!” claims young-realms creationist

A debate that started in the heart of Blight City has spread throughout the Gnaw as newly-qualified Night Runners not only swear off any connection to their simian forbears, but the concept of an Age of Myth entirely.

“It is obvious-clear that Skaven race is only 300 years old,” insisted movement spokesrat Ken Hammhamm. “Any connection to hideous monkey-things is plot by duardin to mock superior master race, yes-yes.”

However, the evidence provided by the Skaven is shaky, and not widely accepted by the learned of Azyr.

“Through the use of rigorously applied magic, we can be confident that the Mortal Realms are tens of thousands of years old. If not older! The age of the stone, the fossils we’ve found buried in the earth, it all points to the same conclusion: that the Mortal Realms are a beautiful symphony that emerged gradually from great clouds of congealing magic. Not, as some would suggest, a few hundred years ago from the droppings of a giant rat.”

Ken Hammhamm has been dismissive of the claims, characterising his detractors as simply being jealous of Skavendom’s inherent supremacy. As we go to print he has begun fundraising for what he is calling a Creation Museum, a project he hopes to rally support to his cause. Planned exhibitions include an orrery demonstrating how the realms all orbit Blight City, and a diorama of Thanquol riding on a Stegadon.

Great Horned Rat kicked from the Teams chat

Chaos amongst the Ruinous Powers today as the Great Horned Rat is removed from the group chat used to organise after work drinks.

“They weren’t fitting the vibe at all,” confided an anonymous source. “Spamming the chat at all hours with unfunny memes, constantly starting group calls and tagging everyone, it was either the rat got kicked or the rest of them left.”

The group chat was hosted via Mortisoft Teams, a series of linked artefacts developed by the Ossiarch Mortisans to increase productivity amongst the Bonereaper legions. Its ease of use and library of GIFs (Geist-powered Imaging Foci) have contributed to its popularity outside of the legions of Death.

The Great Horned Rat has not taken the situation sitting down, and was quick to start up their own chat with the similarly fringe Duardin god Hashut. Our contacts have confirmed that this new arrangement has been working out terribly, as the ancestral enemies battle to send the most insulting, offensive messages that they can think of. At the latest report the Great Horned Rat is winning, on account of not knowing how to read.

Skaven engineers raise concerns over peak warpstone

A pack of Warlock-Engineers have raised concerns in Blight City about the potentially limited nature of warpstone, the resource upon which the entire Skaven civilisation is founded. Previously considered an unlimited substance, this claim could have catastrophic consequences for the Skaven race..

“Our findings nice and simple, yes-yes,” explained Arch-Warlock Pebblegnaw. “If you hack-slash mountain, no rock grows back. Warpstone only small portion of all rock.  We mine-take more warpstone, we have less warpstone left to mine-take later. Smart-best Skaven science.”

Grey Seers have disputed this prediction, accusing the pack of fundamentally misunderstanding the nature of warpstone. According to the Grey Seers, warpstone is a renewable resource in the truest sense, forming from the primordial energies of Chaos which may wax and wane, but never vanish.

Despite the Grey Seers’ preaching, the Skaven are a fearful race and have nevertheless taken steps to address the possibility. Great turbines have been erected around the Realms, utilising the eminently renewable resource of slaves to power gigantic treadmills. The resulting energy is being bottled into batteries, which Warlock-Engineers hope can soon replace warpstone crystals in most if not all of their weapons.