Khorne not mad, just hungry

Overturning aeons of accepted dogma, several experts have published a paper declaring that the Blood God is not as wrathful as many first thought. The more likely answer, according to the experts, is that he is simply hungry.

“We analysed his diet over the past three centuries,” explained lead researcher Dara Robie. “Aside from oceans of blood we found very little that might constitute anything approaching nutritional value. We initially believed that he might be devouring the skulls of the slain, until we found that he was hoarding them under his throne.”

The hypothesis has not been received well by Khornate worshippers, who have long used their god’s anger as an excuse for anti-social activities. They have promised an age of “blood and tears” in retribution, though sources have indicated that this has been in the calendar for some time.

Sigmar himself has reportedly taken the study quite seriously, and has leapt into action. Anyone wishing to join the Culinary Crusade should contact their local recruiting office immediately. Experience in food preparation is recommended.

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