Skull Throne diminished due to delays in Realm-wide logistics

Upset in the Brass Citadel this week as continued delays result in a conspicuously skull-sized hole in Khorne’s throne.

The Blood God, famous for his craftsmanship as well as his violence, has spent several eternities building an edifice from the skulls of fallen warriors. However bones do not last forever, and Khorne has relied on a steady supply of replacement craniums to maintain his throne, a project that now lies in jeopardy.

The causes for these delays are many and varied, but the following are seen as the major contributors:

– Diminishing numbers of Khorne worshippers, adherents instead seeking to join Ironjawz Waaaghs! or Ogor Warglutts.
– Strikes by squig herder unions, whose members are responsible for managing the Realms’ messenger squigs. Demands include longer pokin’ sticks, and a day off each year to celebrate Squigmas.
– Increased funding to the Ossiarch Bonereapers, leading to a crackdown on bone-tithe avoidance.

Faced with limited options Khorne is reportedly trying to pick between alternate, but potentially necessary, evils; allow the skull throne to diminish while things to return to normal, or instead supplement it with a coccyx couch.

Zealous Khorne worshipper hospitalised due to iron overload

Famous Khorne champion Nik Toestubber has been laid low this morning and admitted to the Varanhospital with symptoms including joint pain, fatigue, and an unusual skintone. Early diagnostics have confirmed every worshipper’s worst nightmare – iron overload due to excess blood. 

Around one in ten Khorne worshippers are susceptible to the condition, which results from too much iron in the bloodstream. Causes can be genetic, but for the Blood God’s followers it is just as often caused through the absorption of victims’ blood through the skin and tongue. Suggestions that bezerkers wear shirts to reduce the incidence of the condition have been roundly ignored 

Thankfully through advances in Chaotic medicine the condition is treatable through the use of regular bloodlettings. The excess blood is highly prized by daemonsmiths, who find the increased iron levels a great help in their own endeavors.

Price of blood skyrockets – worshippers suffer

Despite record levels of violence and mayhem throughout the Realms, blood worshippers of all kinds have been struggling at the artery as the price of blood continues to skyrocket.

“We just thank Khorne that he’s also fond of skulls,” confided Sar’dob, Khornate cultist. “But it’s hard to harvest skulls sustainably, you know? It’s a one and done deal most of the time, and we’ve been trying to minimise waste.”

The followers of Morathi-Khaine have not been so lucky, with their goddess refusing to compromise on her sacrifice of choice. Efforts to replace the precious liquid with the supposedly equivalent sweat and tears have thus far been unsuccessful, with the Daughters of Khaine being unfamiliar with the concept of actually putting some effort in.

Reasons for the blood shortage are complex, however the main culprit seems to be the increasingly common occurance of weapons that don’t leave behind a body to drain the liquid from. Turned to dust by a Purple Sun, incinerated by dragonfire, or simply exploded by the charge of a regiment of bounty hunters, the paths to bodily annihilation have grown exceedingly common in the Mortal Realms.

For many at home, the mounting costs have only accelerated a transition to a souls-based economy. For those interested in switching to spirit offerings, please contact your local Nagashite Sigmarite temple.