Surging Gotrek populations cause ecological havoc

Over the past age the Realms have been slowly recovering from the Age of Chaos as the forces of Order eradicate the presence of death and decay. What was seen as something of a miracle by many ecologists is now being threatened by the increasing number of Gotrek Gurnissons.

Previously understood to be a single, albeit powerful, duardin male, experts are now recognsing the Gotrek to be a genus within its own right as its population across the Realms continues to climb rapidly.

“You can understand why we thought this way, of course,” explains Duardinologist XXX. “It wasn’t so many years ago where a spotting of a single Gotrek would be considered unusual. But now that dozens are showing up within a single week, we’ve had to face the facts.”

The Gotrek can be identified by his vibrant orange hair, booming voice, and frantic desire to kill. The Azyr Weekly understands that he is single-handedly responsible for the slaying of over a thousand terrorgheists, a hundred Greater Daemons, and potentially even the God of Death himself. Arkhan did not immediately respond for comment.

Although this might seem like a mighty boon for the forces of Order, early studies have indicated that the Gotrek’s insatiable lust for violence leads them to slaughter livestock or, if not given suitable alternatives, fruits and vegetables as well. This leaves many villages without a source of income or food and, as the population continues to grow, the problem continues to intensify.

The Campaign for the Capture and Prevention of Gotreks have provided us with the following advice:

  • If approached by a Gotrek, do not accept his services.Politely decline, and explain that you are not expecting any violence today
  • If a Gotrek beings to get aggressive, hide any champions or monsters that might be accompanying you. The presence of these will only excite a Gotrek
  • Never, under any circumstances, threaten a Gotrek with death, destruction, or ‘a mighty doom’. Most Gortreks hold an almost religious reverence for these concepts, and will become excited as a result
  • Avoid bringing two Gotreks into near proximity of each other. We do not currently understand their breeding patterns, but it is considered best not to risk it

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s