The most recent survey of the Chaos workforce has just been published, presenting a series of interesting results that the Everchosen has been keen to publicise. The most striking finding has been the job satisfaction numbers for the core troops of the Slaves to Darkness, which have skyrocketed in the wake of their most recent workplace reshuffle.
Chaos Warriors as a cohort have reported a staggering 66% increase in positive responses to the question “Do you feel satisfied with your place in the team?” and a 45% increase to the question “Are you provided with the right tools to perform your tasks?” This has been correlated with a marked increase in their success on the battlefield, earning them their long-awaited day in the sun.
“These banners they’re handing out nowadays are terrific,” commented Irla Stabdoer, Chaos Warrior. “Standing near a smelly scrap of fabric makes me feel ten times tougher. I used to dread coming into work, but now I look forward to it!”
Chaos Knights have likewise found a new lease on life, having finally been taught how to use the full length of their lances. Recent rumours have it that some veterans are seeking to take this a step further, and are pushing the technology to its limits to create a sort of ‘throwing’ spear. More news as it happens.
The Azyr Weekly 