It has been a trying few weeks for Lord Regent Uthralle as he attempts to muster an army for the upcoming Battle of the Frothing Bay. After spending a small fortune assembling the needed soldiery and associated heroes, Uthralle has been struck by the bane of all Realm-lords – the overengineering of the Lumineth uniform.
“Moulded-on runes were a mistake,” lamented the Lord-Regent, paintbrush and masking tape in hand. “And these delicate lengths of trim? You can’t even see them from a distance. Absolute waste of time.”
Lumineth agents have been dispatched across the Realms to try and find a solution to their aesthetic problem. Several successful exchanges have already taken place with the ethereal Nighthaunt, who have demonstrated their trend of dressing in a single, smooth gradient. Meetings with the Stormcast Eternals have delved into the idea of disguising aelves as if they were entirely made of rock, exciting the Alarith Stonemages but otherwise insulting the aelves’ sense of style.
Until adjustments are able to be made Teclis has begun petitioning the other gods for some leeway, proposing a ‘casual Friday’ for battles conducted at the end of a work week. He faces a frosty reception however, and may be regretting smiting many of his fellow deities with Purple Suns over the past month.
The Azyr Weekly 