Eulogy for a Rock Idol

The following eulogy was delivered by Megaboss Krak at the funeral of the Rogue Idol named Mork’s Mighty Masher.

‘e was a good rock. ‘e was da best rock! Dere was no one dat could krump like ‘e could. No git could forgot da time ‘e smashed da lightning ladz at Squig Mountain. And da Big Lake will always remind da realms of da time ‘e krumped that entire ‘umie city to da ground.

Some ladz ‘ave said dat dere will never be anuvver one like ‘im! And dats true! But weze should not see dat as a reason to mope around like weedy grots. Instead we should krump even harder! Krump da ‘umies, and da stunties, and da pointy ears, and da spikey boys, and all da rest, and krump dem so hard dat Gorkamorka ‘imself will grin to see it!

And with dat I tellz all of you, from da biggest boss and the gittiest grot, to remember da good times you ‘ad. And if anyone tells ya to forget about ’em, dat he was just a gravelly git, you punch ’em in da teff and you tell ’em! You were dere when da Idol of Gorkamorka shook da world!

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