Slaanesh actually enjoying their holiday

For an age the worshippers of the Slaanesh have been searching for their lost god, chasing every hint that might lead to their hidden prison. The Azyr Weekly however can exclusively reveal that She Who Thirsts may not want to be found.

“It’s nice to have a break, yeah,” explained the Perfect Prince from a secret location. “For the first few infinities I thought it was impossible to have too much of a good thing, you know? It was my whole vibe. Now that I’m older though, it’s good to have a chance to just chill out.”

This news has not been received well, with Slaaneshi champions refusing our requests for an interview. The Aelven gods have likewise declined to comment, but several of their close servants have reported a mounting frustration on their part with Slaanesh’s approach to captivity. We were able to speak to one of them:

“Too many chains, and they get a bit rowdy. Too few and they start ordering mojitos. It’s a difficult balancing act.”

As we go to print we have received news that a perfumed letter has been received at Khorne’s Brass Citadel. It is believed to be an offer for the Blood God to join his erstwhile rival and ‘have a bit of a getaway’. There are rumours that Khorne has begun packing his favourite skulls, and we will bring you more news as it happens.

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