In a twist that has shaken the Mortal Realms to their core, the famously rotund Slann Mage-Priests have become what can only be described as ‘ripped’. The change came about several days ago, after a reform of Seraphon society was publically announced.
“The Saurus and the Skinks were all getting their a into g, as they say,” confirmed Lord Ana’bo’lik. “So we thought, well, maybe we should too.”
Eye witness accounts state that it took a score of Saurus Oldbloods to lever the Slann out of their seats, but the results have quickly become apparent. Once requiring a decade of contemplation before lifting a finger, several Slann are now able to regularly carry a half-dozen of their Saurus Guard upon their shoulders. This has begun to influence their magical arts, with many of the mages now preferring to lob boulders instead of the more traditional fireball.
The long-term implications for the Mortal Realms are uncertain, but it is clear that things cannot remain the same. Several Orruk Waaaaghs have pledged allegiance to the ‘Buff Boyz’, as they are known, and we have received reports that a gang of Slann have already beaten up Arkhan and stolen his lunch money. Tales of Khorne worshippers hijacking shipments of protein powder have been denied by the Azyrite Gymnastical Society, but the rumours of an impending ‘War of Gains’ are hard to ignore.
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