Rival Slaanesh worshippers caught in infinite temptation loop

What was originally a simple skirmish between two Slaaneshi warlords has now escalated into a conflict of apocalyptic proportions as each warrior offers and in turn immediately accepts forbidden temptations from their rival.

“It’s not meant to go like this,” confided Lushir Pillowtalker, one of the two warlords. “Normally I offer them pleasures beyond imagination, they accept, and I become empowered by Slaanesh. They’re not supposed to do it back to me!”

There seems to be little hope of a speedy conclusion to the situation, as both warriors continue to summon endless hordes of Daemonettes and Keepers of Secrets. A suggestion that they simply stop giving in to temptation was quickly laughed off, with the two agreeing that they didn’t become Slaanesh worshippers because they were good at saying ‘no’.

Khorne opens submissions for new word to replace blood-, skull-

After a decade of possessing well-established nomenclature, the Blood God is looking to shake things up. They have sent out a challenge to all the Realms: find a new word for Khorne to beat into the bloody ground.

An early favourite is haemo-, an old human word meaning ‘blood’. Supporters claim that it will add a bit of refinement to Khorne’s legions, though admit it lacks the clear messaging of its predecessors.

Some worshippers have thrown their support behind bone-, suggesting that it provides a neat synthesis between blood- and skull-. This suggestion is unlikely to be chosen though, due to legal threats from Nagash.

The most likely contender however, to the disappointment of many, is simply the word blood- again, but this time written in big capital letters. Khorne is reportedly pleased with the refreshed look, having changed his mind about the whole thing and declaring any sort of change to be dangerously Tzeentchian.

Brayherd numbers plummet as cost of living hits home

After years of affordable living in the wild places of the Realms, not even the Beasts of Chaos have proven immune to market forces. The rising costs of building materials have put forested areas at a premium, forcing herds to downsize purely to keep the rent affordable.

“Used to be we’d hunt along acres upon acres of these woods,” mused local Beastlord Gorn Gruffhorn. “Now we’re down to a clearing we have to share with a local farmer’s gryphcow herd.”

The crunch has not all been bad news for the Beasts, as necessity has again proved the mother of invention. To evade probing landlords all members of the herds have now mastered the ability of vanishing into the undergrowth, appearing only when they are needed. The Cygor have also been pushed to pull their weight and get a real job, joining Chaotic seminaries to train as priests.