Interest in Gobbapalooza entrance exam skyrockets

It has been a busy week in Skrappa Spill as hundreds of hopeful young grots register to take the tests to enter the prestigious Smart’nz Akademy – the first step in becoming a fully registered gobbapallozee.

The sudden spike in interest was caused by Skragrott’s reforms to Gobbapaloozas, which have overnight made them a highly desirable pick for any Gloomspite horde. What was previously considered something of a useless qualification has become a guarantee of a shromfull life.

The madness sweeping the grot nations has seen some criticism, with Loonbosses concerned that the swelling numbers of Gobbapaloozas might represent a brain drain from the traditionally prestigious Fungoid Cave-Shaman class. They have petitioned Skragrott to only allow once such grouping per horde, or at the very least place a limit on their newly acquired powers. The Loonking himself was unavailable to comment, as he was preoccupied with finding a food source big enough to feed his newly acquired flood of squigs.

Brayherd numbers plummet as cost of living hits home

After years of affordable living in the wild places of the Realms, not even the Beasts of Chaos have proven immune to market forces. The rising costs of building materials have put forested areas at a premium, forcing herds to downsize purely to keep the rent affordable.

“Used to be we’d hunt along acres upon acres of these woods,” mused local Beastlord Gorn Gruffhorn. “Now we’re down to a clearing we have to share with a local farmer’s gryphcow herd.”

The crunch has not all been bad news for the Beasts, as necessity has again proved the mother of invention. To evade probing landlords all members of the herds have now mastered the ability of vanishing into the undergrowth, appearing only when they are needed. The Cygor have also been pushed to pull their weight and get a real job, joining Chaotic seminaries to train as priests.

Skaven engineers raise concerns over peak warpstone

A pack of Warlock-Engineers have raised concerns in Blight City about the potentially limited nature of warpstone, the resource upon which the entire Skaven civilisation is founded. Previously considered an unlimited substance, this claim could have catastrophic consequences for the Skaven race..

“Our findings nice and simple, yes-yes,” explained Arch-Warlock Pebblegnaw. “If you hack-slash mountain, no rock grows back. Warpstone only small portion of all rock. We mine-take more warpstone, we have less warpstone left to mine-take later. Smart-best Skaven science.”

Grey Seers have disputed this prediction, accusing the pack of fundamentally misunderstanding the nature of warpstone. According to the Grey Seers, warpstone is a renewable resource in the truest sense, forming from the primordial energies of Chaos which may wax and wane, but never vanish.

Despite the Grey Seers’ preaching, the Skaven are a fearful race and have nevertheless taken steps to address the possibility. Great turbines have been erected around the Realms, utilising the eminently renewable resource of slaves to power gigantic treadmills. The resulting energy is being bottled into batteries, which Warlock-Engineers hope can soon replace warpstone crystals in most if not all of their weapons.