Disciples of Tzeentch, Lumineth scry future, call off battle due to foregone conclusion

A highly anticipated battle between the forces of Teclis and Tzeentch was called off at the last minute today as seers from both sides have agreed on the inevitable outcome before it could begin.

“Ultimately it saves us a lot of hassle,” confirmed the Magister in charge of the Tzeentchian host. “We’ve foreseen the inevitable casualty rates, strategic manoeuvres, and all the associated twists and turns. So instead of getting all worked up we’ve decided to take the day off.”

The decision has been welcomed by the soldiery who would have had to risk life and limb in the battle. The top brass back home however are less pleased, and feel robbed of the drama only a high-stakes clash can provide. They have sent orders that those soldiers destined to fall in battle be executed anyway to add a little excitement to the day, a request the armies are less than thrilled about.

Sigmar forbids entry into Golden Demon, cites daemonic influence

After a weekend celebrating creative expression and artistic perfection, painters of the Mortal Realms have been blindsided by a declaration from Sigmar forbidding them from entering the vaunted Golden Demon competition.

“It should have happened much sooner,” confirmed an insider close to Sigmar. “It’s right in the name. The Golden Demon? We should have been arresting people years ago.”

Supporters have brushed off the accusation, claiming that the name is just an edgy, attention-getting name playing on the phrase ‘the devil is in the details’. However they have been unable to explain why the winner of the event is given a replica of Archaon’s infamous weapon ‘the Slayer of Kings’.

If you know somebody that competed in or visited the Golden Demon competition, be on the lookout for the following signs:

The possession of demonic iconography, potentially referred to as ‘finalist pins’
Displaying the ability to discern shades of colour invisible to a mortal eye
Discussing with fellow attendees how to take their work to the ‘next level’ (presumably referring to the tiers of favour offered by their ruinous patrons)

Should your friend or loved one begin showing any of these symptoms, it is your duty to alert the Order of Azyr immediately.

Ghur drained of energy, excess Krondspine use blamed

A realm long feared and respected for its animalistic savagery, Ghur has been the target of many factions seeking to weaponise its energy in the form of Krondspine Incarnates. This Krondrush has continued for weeks, and has had the unfortunate result of leaving Ghur wasted and lifeless.

“We haven’t had a decent earthquake for days,” reported a Ghurish local. “And I haven’t been attacked by a roaming shrug since last Zenithus. Something is definitely not right.”

Factions have been quick to hurl accusations at one another. The Orruk Warclans, one of the few races to thrive in Ghur, have accused others of spreading their ‘weediness and ungreen ways’ and poisoning the soul of the Realm. The Sylvaneth meanwhile insist that non-sustainable harvesting of Ghurish energy has led to the realm’s detriment. Nagash meanwhile has claimed the seeming death of the realm as a victory, insisting this was all a part of his Great Work.

The Collegiate Arcane have issued advice to all those who wish to see Ghur rejuvenated, namely to stop trying to summon Krondspines at every possible opportunity. The experts have indicated that not only will this allow the realm to recover, but it will also have the added benefit of letting warlords feel better about themselves and their battles.