Today marks the annual Proclamation of the Coming Beastening, a regular event put on by local beastman Merinok the Prophet. Every year the aging Gor stands upon his rock on the border of town, and vows the impending victory of beast-kind.
“You shoe-wearers’ days are numbered!” wheezed Merinok, leaning heavily on his club. “The Brayherds are rising, just you wait!”
Commentators have advised onlookers to take these doomsayings with a grain of salt, pointing out that Merinok has been saying this for years without much success. One particularly omniscient seer was able to peer into alternate realities, and revealed that even in other dimensions beastmen have tended to receive a low estimation from their opponents.
Sadly it seems Merinok’s days of prophecy are numbered, with the elderly gor hanging onto life by a thread. Rumours indicate that his health is such that the only food he is able to consume is soup, a suggestion furiously refused by the Beastman.
Followers of the Prophet may have reason to hope however, as news filters through the Realms of the victories of a herd of Bullgors in the Vega Plains. Upon hearing the news Merinok was able to launch into a second lengthy diatribe, wowing the town’s inhabitants but reportedly not impressing the other Beastmen, who have apparently heard it all before.
The Azyr Weekly 