Gnawholes to be made ‘Doomwheel accessible’

After a concerted campaign by the Clans Skryre, and several unrelated yet catastrophic explosions throughout Blight City, the Masterclan have caved to the warlocks’ demands. All Skaven barracks, warrens, and Gnawholes are now required to be accessible via ramps strong enough to carry the weight of a fully operational Doomwheel.

The ramps, once constructed, will provide an easy mode of travel through the Under-Empire for those warlock-engineers who have wired themselves directly into Doomwheels. Previously this could only be achieved through the backbreaking labour of clanrats, who would have to haul the contraptions up stairs or through Gnawholes themselves. Despite the relative affordability of a functioning clanrat, warlock-engineers would rather spend their clanrat-allowance on the testing of cutting-edge weaponry thus leaving them isolated from the wider community.

The move has been something of a no-brainer by some, allowing as it does a significant portion of Skavendom to reclaim their place in society. By taking this fairly simple step, explain the experts, Skavendom can now enjoy a greater level of participation from all rats, which can already be seen in increased Stormfiend production and a more thorough integration of Warpstone Spark technology into the Council of Thirteen’s plots. The fact that the Skaven did not realise this sooner is described as testament to their selfish and divisive ways.

Editor’s note: We have been asked by the Order of Azyr to request that our readers stop petitioning Sigmar for written copies of his proclamations. Citizens unable to hear the announcements of the Knights-Heraldor are suggested to engage the services of an interpreter. Due to the ongoing wars in Ghur, no subsidies will be provided.

Skaven jealous, demand upgrades

After several months of watching their rivals unveil new and improved versions of their ancient heroes, the Skaven of Blight City have begun to agitate the Council of Thirteen for upgrades themselves.

“Not fair-fair,” explained a local clanrat. “Frog-thing get new chair, daemon-thing get growth-gains, while Eshin-allies look like monkey-things!”

Acting in response to the unrest, Eshin spies infiltrated Blight City’s archives, with their findings landing the Council of Thirteen in hot water. The raid revealed that although the Council previously did have the resources to advance their civilisation they squandered it all on developing different variations of Verminlord, alongside a new mount for Thanquol. Although Skyre did get a win with their Stormfiends, the long-needed upgrades for their Acolytes and weapons teams were deliberately ignored.

The Council have promised “many big-great advancements, yes-yes” in the coming months, relying on the Necroquake’s dissipation to open up access to new reserves of warpstone. Despite promises that it won’t be spent on an even bigger Boneripper for Grey Seer Thanquol, many clanrats remain unconvinced.