Person-sized heroes coming out of their cave, hoping to do just fine

News of updated rules of war are spreading quickly throughout the Realms, generals delighted with the opportunity to revisit old strategies and discover new ones. However none are glader than the humble foot hero, who are anticipating an entirely new lease on life.

“Last few years I haven’t been able to step outside of my temple without getting an immediate bolt through the head,” confided a local Hag Queen who has yet to buy her own Cauldron of Blood to ride upon. “The idea that a sister nearby might take the shot for me is nothing short of delightful.”

Some cynics have not been so quick to join in the celebrations, proposing that the upcoming rules might actively encourage the hunting of small person-sized heroes and worse their situation even further. These detractors have been roundly ignored, and are considered mostly to be Mortahi- and Kragnos-backed lobbyists protecting their vested interests.

Price of blood skyrockets – worshippers suffer

Despite record levels of violence and mayhem throughout the Realms, blood worshippers of all kinds have been struggling at the artery as the price of blood continues to skyrocket.

“We just thank Khorne that he’s also fond of skulls,” confided Sar’dob, Khornate cultist. “But it’s hard to harvest skulls sustainably, you know? It’s a one and done deal most of the time, and we’ve been trying to minimise waste.”

The followers of Morathi-Khaine have not been so lucky, with their goddess refusing to compromise on her sacrifice of choice. Efforts to replace the precious liquid with the supposedly equivalent sweat and tears have thus far been unsuccessful, with the Daughters of Khaine being unfamiliar with the concept of actually putting some effort in.

Reasons for the blood shortage are complex, however the main culprit seems to be the increasingly common occurance of weapons that don’t leave behind a body to drain the liquid from. Turned to dust by a Purple Sun, incinerated by dragonfire, or simply exploded by the charge of a regiment of bounty hunters, the paths to bodily annihilation have grown exceedingly common in the Mortal Realms.

For many at home, the mounting costs have only accelerated a transition to a souls-based economy. For those interested in switching to spirit offerings, please contact your local ~~Nagashite~~ Sigmarite temple.

“Battleline? More like guideline,” insists army of Morathi clones

Rebellion in the Mortal Realms this week as Morathi-Khaine, leader of the Daughters of Khaine, rebels against the guidelines laid down by Sigmar.

“The Thunder God’s draconian rules have limited us for too long,” declared Morathi at a Hag Queen conference in Hagg Nar. “Other factions are making their own way when building their militaries, it is time for us to do the same!”

Tapping into the magicks of Ulgu, Morathi-Khaine has undertaken a ritual to clone herself several times, creating a fearsome force of supreme sorceresses and reptilian monstrosities. Witch Aelf unions, who were already concerned at their increasing sidelining from battles, are said to have accepted the move with weary resignation.

There are fears in Azyr that Morathi’s decision could ignite an arms race and quickly grow out of hand. Rumours of Archaon the Everchosen searching for an enchanted mirror are already sparking concern. On the other hand, Brokk Grungsson’s threats to create a ‘Hundred Magnate Army’ have been met with shrugs and disinterest. Only time will tell where this new era will lead us.