Morathi-Khaine gone woke? Acolytes wearing pants, shirts

Fury in Ulgu today as it becomes obvious that Morathi-Khaine, living god of the Daughters of Khaine, has kowtowed to the feminists. Long known for going into battle in skimpy underwear, the Daughters have begun rolling out a more extensive, ‘thorough’ line of uniforms.

“Honestly, nobody’s missing it,” confirmed Shear Twoknives. “The old uniform really limited our options, deployment wise. The new ones are much more comfortable, and definitely feel more secure.”

Others outside the cult aren’t too sure, however, and have been vocal in their disagreement.

“Well it was an important piece of their culture, innit?” commented a tourist visiting Har Kuron who didn’t wish to be named. “It was empowering for them, I heard. It’s sad to see, is all.”

The move has admirers of the humanoid form on high alert, fearing that other factions will follow suit. In particular, petitions have been sent to the Slann asking them to swear off shirts forever, and a formal request lodged with Nagashizarr to consider Nagash’s crop top an artefact of realmwide importance.

Person-sized heroes coming out of their cave, hoping to do just fine

News of updated rules of war are spreading quickly throughout the Realms, generals delighted with the opportunity to revisit old strategies and discover new ones. However none are glader than the humble foot hero, who are anticipating an entirely new lease on life.

“Last few years I haven’t been able to step outside of my temple without getting an immediate bolt through the head,” confided a local Hag Queen who has yet to buy her own Cauldron of Blood to ride upon. “The idea that a sister nearby might take the shot for me is nothing short of delightful.”

Some cynics have not been so quick to join in the celebrations, proposing that the upcoming rules might actively encourage the hunting of small person-sized heroes and worse their situation even further. These detractors have been roundly ignored, and are considered mostly to be Mortahi- and Kragnos-backed lobbyists protecting their vested interests.

Price of blood skyrockets – worshippers suffer

Despite record levels of violence and mayhem throughout the Realms, blood worshippers of all kinds have been struggling at the artery as the price of blood continues to skyrocket.

“We just thank Khorne that he’s also fond of skulls,” confided Sar’dob, Khornate cultist. “But it’s hard to harvest skulls sustainably, you know? It’s a one and done deal most of the time, and we’ve been trying to minimise waste.”

The followers of Morathi-Khaine have not been so lucky, with their goddess refusing to compromise on her sacrifice of choice. Efforts to replace the precious liquid with the supposedly equivalent sweat and tears have thus far been unsuccessful, with the Daughters of Khaine being unfamiliar with the concept of actually putting some effort in.

Reasons for the blood shortage are complex, however the main culprit seems to be the increasingly common occurance of weapons that don’t leave behind a body to drain the liquid from. Turned to dust by a Purple Sun, incinerated by dragonfire, or simply exploded by the charge of a regiment of bounty hunters, the paths to bodily annihilation have grown exceedingly common in the Mortal Realms.

For many at home, the mounting costs have only accelerated a transition to a souls-based economy. For those interested in switching to spirit offerings, please contact your local ~~Nagashite~~ Sigmarite temple.