Ogors mature Halflings, say experts

Shocking news from the College of Gastrology today as resident academics float their latest theory: an ogor is merely a fully grown halfling.

“We got our start from the study of orruks,” explained lead researcher and Ogor specialist Rel Bitedodger. “It’s common knowledge that the more an Orruk fights the bigger they get, so we thought it made sense to apply the paradigm to other creatures of Destruction.”

Halfling communities are outraged at the news, and have petitioned the College to withdraw what they call outrageous slander. “Just because we love to gorge on food and drink, utilise culinary tools in battle, and have a friendly camaraderie does not make us the same species!” claimed Spokescook Dodgil Doublecake.

The College remains convinced however, and has continued to promulgate their beliefs throughout the populace using several methods. The most popular thus far have been free pamphlets, with such titles as ‘Gluttons From Cradle to Grave’ and ‘Half Of What? The Halflings’ Secret’.

Tzeentch makes profit selling Newly-Fettered Thaumaturgies

Alarming financial markets and wizards throughout the Realms, the Great Architect has begun amassing significant wealth by selling the rights to spells in packages known as Newly-Fettered Thaumaturgies, or NFTs for short.

The process is centred around the idea that the purchaser of an NFT buys the rights to a particular instance of magical energy. This purchase is woven into the very fabric of magic itself, enabling anyone to verify that the transaction occurred, and it can then later be on-sold, potentially for a profit.

Proponents of the system claim that it heralds an entirely new way of thinking about magic, and represents a cutting-edge advancement in both economics and the art of spell-weaving. They brush over criticisms that purchases directly enrich one of the Ruinous Powers, describing it as a necessary evil for progress.

Critics however have not been kind, labeling it a cunning money-making scheme. They point out that despite owning the ‘rights’ to a particular spell, the holder of the NFT does not possess any physical instance of the magic nor even a way to necessarily summon it. Perhaps even more damning is the fact that there is nothing preventing the spell being cast by another individual or cabal regardless of what the ‘owner’ might wish. Campaigns by NFT-holders to restrict the casting of spells only to those who own the rights to do so have so far been stonewalled by all magical institutions.

Editor’s Note: We have received reports of Tzeentchian warlocks attempting to NFT spells being cast by opposing wizards mid-battle. If this should happen to you, the Order of Azyr recommends simply ignoring their attempts and, if possible, throwing a fireball into their face.

Slaanesh loosens bonds, requests they be re-tied even harder

Alarming news today as we learn that Slaanesh, the Dark Prince of Excess, has begun to loosen their bonds in the secret sub-realm of Uhl-Gysh. However all is not lost, as the Lord of Perfection has reportedly demanded that their captors chain them up even tighter than before.

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