Sigmar forbids entry into Golden Demon, cites daemonic influence

After a weekend celebrating creative expression and artistic perfection, painters of the Mortal Realms have been blindsided by a declaration from Sigmar forbidding them from entering the vaunted Golden Demon competition.

“It should have happened much sooner,” confirmed an insider close to Sigmar. “It’s right in the name. The Golden Demon? We should have been arresting people years ago.”

Supporters have brushed off the accusation, claiming that the name is just an edgy, attention-getting name playing on the phrase ‘the devil is in the details’. However they have been unable to explain why the winner of the event is given a replica of Archaon’s infamous weapon ‘the Slayer of Kings’.

If you know somebody that competed in or visited the Golden Demon competition, be on the lookout for the following signs:

The possession of demonic iconography, potentially referred to as ‘finalist pins’
Displaying the ability to discern shades of colour invisible to a mortal eye
Discussing with fellow attendees how to take their work to the ‘next level’ (presumably referring to the tiers of favour offered by their ruinous patrons)

Should your friend or loved one begin showing any of these symptoms, it is your duty to alert the Order of Azyr immediately.

Ghur drained of energy, excess Krondspine use blamed

A realm long feared and respected for its animalistic savagery, Ghur has been the target of many factions seeking to weaponise its energy in the form of Krondspine Incarnates. This Krondrush has continued for weeks, and has had the unfortunate result of leaving Ghur wasted and lifeless.

“We haven’t had a decent earthquake for days,” reported a Ghurish local. “And I haven’t been attacked by a roaming shrug since last Zenithus. Something is definitely not right.”

Factions have been quick to hurl accusations at one another. The Orruk Warclans, one of the few races to thrive in Ghur, have accused others of spreading their ‘weediness and ungreen ways’ and poisoning the soul of the Realm. The Sylvaneth meanwhile insist that non-sustainable harvesting of Ghurish energy has led to the realm’s detriment. Nagash meanwhile has claimed the seeming death of the realm as a victory, insisting this was all a part of his Great Work.

The Collegiate Arcane have issued advice to all those who wish to see Ghur rejuvenated, namely to stop trying to summon Krondspines at every possible opportunity. The experts have indicated that not only will this allow the realm to recover, but it will also have the added benefit of letting warlords feel better about themselves and their battles.

Gnomad trail goes off course, passes through Varanspire

Confusion in the Eightpoints today as Archaon and his Varanguard bore witness to a Gnomad caravan crashing directly through the Varanspire. Taken completely by surprise the Herald of the Apocolypse was unable to take any retributive action, staring dumbfounded as the Feastmasters herded their charges along the trail and straight through his supposedly impenetrable defences.

The situation is nigh unprecedented, with Chaos scholars unable to explain the cause. The Gnomad trails, magical arteries of life that course through the Realms, were thrown into disarray during the Necroquake and have reportedly gone off course with increasing regularity. However this is the first reported instance of a trail passing so near to the Realm of Chaos.

The Gnomads reportedly took the encounter with stoic determination, keeping their heads down as they trudged on through the Chaotic stronghold. This comes as no surprise to the few experts who specialise in the near-mythical race. We spoke to Feastmaster expert Warren Datsonn for more:

“The Gnomads take two things seriously; food, and their duty on the trails. It is their job to guide the wildlife of the Realms along these paths, whether that’s to take them to greener pastures, ancestral breeding grounds, or anything of the sort. If the Everchosen didn’t take any action against the Feastmasters, then I’m sure they would have just kept to themselves and kept going.”

The Varanguard are currently engaged in cleaning up after the procession, repairing the rubble left by the passage of rugged crag-ibexes and sturdy caravans. Particular damage has been down to the fortress’ granaries, with much of the Varanspire’s stores purloined by intrepid Trail Thieves. Whether the food is considered palatable by the Gnomads is anybody’s guess, though Archaon can be assured that anything not fit for the table will be returned via Gnomad Hot Pot should the trail ever pass that way again.

(Editor’s Note: Like what you’ve read? Check out the beta version of Battletome: Gnomad Feastmasters and other details here.)