Authorities warn of hidden ‘Clown Dimension’

Pamphlets have been distributed amongst the mystical covens of the Realms, warning would-be wizards of the dangers of the newly discovered Clown Dimension.

“Be Warned,” begins the pamphlet, written in a very serious font. “The Collegiate Arcane has evidence that there is a world besides our own, separated from us only by the thinnest of barriers. This realm, our augurs show, is becoming increasingly overrun by a faction of murderous, rabid clowns. We are confident that you recognise the danger of the situation.”

Practitioners of magic are urged to follow the following rules, in order to prevent the Clown Dimension from crossing into our own:

  • When casting spells, wear clothing with solid colours. Bright patterns, particularly those involving diamonds, are to be avoided.
  • Avoid using puns, sarcasm, or dramatic irony within 30 steps of any summoning circles.
  • Under absolutely no circumstances should you ever, ever advise a mysterious apparition that you are ‘down to clown’.

Failure to follow these instructions may lead to a clown invasion (also known as a ‘clownvasion’) which will impact the battlefields of the Mortal Realms for years to come. Readers are encouraged to stay strong during these troubled times, and approach things with a sense of calm and good humour grim resolve.

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