Stormcast technically undead- Azyr in uproar

A pedantic scholar has done what centuries of work by the Ruinous Powers could not – completely undermined trust in Sigmar’s Stormcast Eternals. They have demonstrated that, by most measures, the Stormcast Eternals actually represent a form of undead necromancy. In the spirit of honest journalism, we have reprinted the accusation below.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that the living dead possess the following qualities:

  • They were at one point living beings
  • They at some point suffered a death to their mortal bodies
  • A portion of their self has been shackled for use by a powerful wizard or magical energy beyond their natural lifespan

It pains me to my core to say this, but Sigmar Heldenhammer, blessed be his name, has been tricked by the wicked necromancer Nagash and employed these dark magicks in the defence of Azyr! We can demonstrate this as follows:

  • All Stormcast Eternals profess to have begun their existence as living beings
  • If the heralds are to be believed, all Stormcast Eternals had their souls snatched away at the moment of their slaying by the foes of Sigmar
  • This soul has been reforged by Sigmar into a form utterly in thrall to his wishes

We beseech all true believers to strike back against these ghoulish horrors, and stop the pollution of the sacred ground of Azyr. Pray that Sigmar sees the error of his ways before it is too late!

ATTENTION READER. THE PRECEEDING TEXT HAS BEEN DEEMED HERETICAL BY THE LORD-CENSOR. REPORT TO THE LOCAL CRUSADE RECRUITMENT OFFICER TO PROVE YOUR LOYALTY IMMEDIATELY.

Strike Out! Nagash slams use of Longstrike Crossbows, threatens escalation

Emotions are running high in the Realm of Death as the Supreme Necromancer picks up his army and leaves, in the middle of a war heavily featuring the Stormcast Eternals. 

“There’s absolutely no point in fighting if the Soul-Thief is going to engage in tactics like this,” the Undying King was reported as having said on Femmur, a Death-focused social communications network. “This type of behaviour is ruining the wars that I love.”

Onlookers have described Nagash’s displeasure as focusing particularly on the Vanguard-Raptors, ace hunters of the Stormhosts. Their Longstrike Crossbows are reportedly able to shatter his skeletal form with only seconds of sustained fire, a situation with obvious negatives for the death god. 

Nagash has later come out and clarified his comment, stating that the Stormcast generals he did face appeared to be noble opponents (despite being the result of nefarious soul-crime). He has instead reinforced his plea to Sigmar for him to tone down his warriors’ weaponry, threatening to release his own crossbow-wielding ghosts if action is not taken.

Public urges dragon-use be declared a war crime

Controversy in Azyr today as Sigmar is flooded with pleas to outlaw the use of dragons in his armies, with petitioners citing the horrendous damage they inflict on the battlefield.

Sigmar has refused to entertain the requests, insisting that he has already moderated their use and there is no need to go any further. Supporters of the Dracronith have suggested that perceptions of the dragons’ power have been distorted by propaganda circulating amongst the Realms’ commentators and taste-makers, an accusation refuted by many.

Left to their own devices, some generals have begun debating how to limit the use of dragons by themselves. This has hit significant snags, with Nagash refusing to stop use of his own Zombie Dragons and the Seraphon airing concerns of a slippery slope that might occur with the banning of giant, vicious lizards. While some have insisted that the ban needn’t move beyond the Draconith of Azyr, this has not stopped others from hitching their own desires to the movement.

Veterans have urged calm, suggesting that this is simply part and parcel of life in the Mortal Realms and that generals might spend their time more usefully with a cup of tea and a good book. Where this advice leaves those in the thick of the fighting remains to be seen.