Stormcast Eternals given participation medals after battle

Despite a devastating defeat at the Battle of Battered Roofs, the Hammers of Sigmar have recently performed a victory parade through Azyrheim. The ceremony concluded with a speech by Sigmar praising the qualities of his favoured Stormhost, and each Stormcast present was awarded with a medal for their participation. This has caused an uproar amongst the forces of Order, with claims of favouritism and preferential treatment rampant.

Sigmar has pushed back against the accusations, insisting that the awards play an important part in the morale and esprit d’corps of the Stormcast. He has refused to comment on suggestions that Freeguild soldiers in contrast are only issued “You Did Alright” certificates after the most heroic of battlefield achievements.

Nagash has been quick to join Sigmar’s accusers, and has laid the blame squarely at the God-King’s feet for what he considers a weak, coddled population. The Supreme Necromancer has proudly proclaimed that he has never handed out participation trophies himself, except on one occasion to Mannfred after the vampire suffered a particularly humiliating loss to the Halfling Gnomads of the Curet Trail.

Nagash soul-construct just re-coloured Stormcast Eternal

The feud between Sigmar and Nagash has continued this past week, with Nagash revealing what he claims is the next step in soul engineering. He has faced quick and violent backlash however as adversaries point out he has simply colour shifted a Stormcast Eternal.

“This just goes to show the lack of imagination possessed by the Necromancer,” proclaimed Vandus Hammerhand, Sigmar’s Lord-Spokesperson. “We demand an immediate removal of this insulting mockery, and a public apology for the obvious transgression.”

Nagash has so far refused to respond to criticisms, and his objective remains unknown. The most likely motivation, according to experts, is simply that the Great Necromancer has run out of ideas and energy since his defeat at the hands of Teclis, and is relying on cheap imitations while he regains his power.

Editor’s note: Nagash has recently released a statement, indicating that he has reached an agreement with Sigmar regarding the use of Stormcast imagery. He has also pledged not to misuse the imagery of any other major god, though reserves the right to do so ‘if he feels like it.’

Stormcast technically undead- Azyr in uproar

A pedantic scholar has done what centuries of work by the Ruinous Powers could not – completely undermined trust in Sigmar’s Stormcast Eternals. They have demonstrated that, by most measures, the Stormcast Eternals actually represent a form of undead necromancy. In the spirit of honest journalism, we have reprinted the accusation below.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that the living dead possess the following qualities:

They were at one point living beings
They at some point suffered a death to their mortal bodies
A portion of their self has been shackled for use by a powerful wizard or magical energy beyond their natural lifespan

It pains me to my core to say this, but Sigmar Heldenhammer, blessed be his name, has been tricked by the wicked necromancer Nagash and employed these dark magicks in the defence of Azyr! We can demonstrate this as follows:

All Stormcast Eternals profess to have begun their existence as living beings
If the heralds are to be believed, all Stormcast Eternals had their souls snatched away at the moment of their slaying by the foes of Sigmar
This soul has been reforged by Sigmar into a form utterly in thrall to his wishes

We beseech all true believers to strike back against these ghoulish horrors, and stop the pollution of the sacred ground of Azyr. Pray that Sigmar sees the error of his ways before it is too late!

ATTENTION READER. THE PRECEEDING TEXT HAS BEEN DEEMED HERETICAL BY THE LORD-CENSOR. REPORT TO THE LOCAL CRUSADE RECRUITMENT OFFICER TO PROVE YOUR LOYALTY IMMEDIATELY.