Great Horned Rat kicked from the Teams chat

Chaos amongst the Ruinous Powers today as the Great Horned Rat is removed from the group chat used to organise after work drinks.

“They weren’t fitting the vibe at all,” confided an anonymous source. “Spamming the chat at all hours with unfunny memes, constantly starting group calls and tagging everyone, it was either the rat got kicked or the rest of them left.”

The group chat was hosted via Mortisoft Teams, a series of linked artefacts developed by the Ossiarch Mortisans to increase productivity amongst the Bonereaper legions. Its ease of use and library of GIFs (Geist-powered Imaging Foci) have contributed to its popularity outside of the legions of Death.

The Great Horned Rat has not taken the situation sitting down, and was quick to start up their own chat with the similarly fringe Duardin god Hashut. Our contacts have confirmed that this new arrangement has been working out terribly, as the ancestral enemies battle to send the most insulting, offensive messages that they can think of. At the latest report the Great Horned Rat is winning, on account of not knowing how to read.

Skaven engineers raise concerns over peak warpstone

A pack of Warlock-Engineers have raised concerns in Blight City about the potentially limited nature of warpstone, the resource upon which the entire Skaven civilisation is founded. Previously considered an unlimited substance, this claim could have catastrophic consequences for the Skaven race..

“Our findings nice and simple, yes-yes,” explained Arch-Warlock Pebblegnaw. “If you hack-slash mountain, no rock grows back. Warpstone only small portion of all rock.  We mine-take more warpstone, we have less warpstone left to mine-take later. Smart-best Skaven science.”

Grey Seers have disputed this prediction, accusing the pack of fundamentally misunderstanding the nature of warpstone. According to the Grey Seers, warpstone is a renewable resource in the truest sense, forming from the primordial energies of Chaos which may wax and wane, but never vanish.

Despite the Grey Seers’ preaching, the Skaven are a fearful race and have nevertheless taken steps to address the possibility. Great turbines have been erected around the Realms, utilising the eminently renewable resource of slaves to power gigantic treadmills. The resulting energy is being bottled into batteries, which Warlock-Engineers hope can soon replace warpstone crystals in most if not all of their weapons.

Skaven increasingly doubt existence of man-things

Rumours abound in the underburrows of a race of creatures living on the surface world, standing on two-legs like a Skaven but relatively hairless and without a tail. Named ‘humans’ by those on the fringe of decent Skaven society, there is a rising pushback from those who deny their very existence.

“Elf-things? Sure-sure. Ghost-things? I’ve heard of them. But man-things? I don’t know any Skaven that’s seen one in the skin-flesh.”

True believers in humanity’s existence have struggled to provide any evidence to support their claim. The existence of the Stormcast Eternals is well-known within Skavendom, but their similarities to the proposed human form have been brushed off as a coincidence given their clearly magical providence. So-called human worshippers of Chaos have been labelled ‘low-tier daemons’, and the skeletal legions of the Soulblight are considered to have been formed from the bones of short and ugly aelfs. 

One group of Skaven, the Clan-Pack for Proof-Finding of Man-Things, have scrounged together enough warpstone to fund an expedition to the surface to locate one of the fabled Cities of Sigmar. These metropolises, reportedly jam-packed full of humans, are considered by the group to be their best bet in proving the existence of humanity.

Update: We have just received word that the Skaven delegation have vanished without a trace. The Clan-Pack claim that they were intercepted and destroyed by scouts from Hammerhal Aqsha, their intended destination, pointing to a conspiracy to keep humanity’s existence secret. Their detractors have suggested the group merely took the warpstone and ran.