This Dawnbringer Crusade brought to you by UlguVPN

After months of financial difficulties, the Grand Conclaves of the Free Cities have bitten the bullet and accepted sponsorships for new Dawnbringer Crusades.

The opportunity has been taken up by several companies, the most prominent being Ulgu’s Various Protective Necklaces (or UlgaVPN for short). They offer a range of affordable talismans that purport to hide you from even Sigmar’s gaze (note from the Order of Azyr: There is no hiding from Sigmar’s gaze).

The sponsorships vary in magnitude, with some only requiring that the sponsor’s emblem be emblazoned on the crusade’s banners. Others require the regular reciting of a pre-written speech, and will immediately withdraw their support if this condition is not met. This has resulted in the decimation of several crusades, who must pause mid-battle in order to fish out their scripts.

As time goes on and the benefits of such sponsorships become clear, more companies are entering the market themselves. Other sponsors include the drug delivery service HelloSlaanesh, leyline building resource Kroakspace, and Raid: Shadow Legends.

“We’ve always had a strong rune culture” – Lumineth and Fyreslayers at loggerheads

One of the oldest rivalries in the Mortal Realms has escalated as Fyreslayer elders react in horror to the Lumineth’s new battlefield rune system.

“Runes mean duardin, and duardin mean runes!” insisted Wylim Thwackhammer, Vostarg Spokesfather. “These flouncy elgi think, just because they have tall towers and magic tricks, that they can take whatever they like.”

The Lumineth have rejected this characterisation, explaining that they engaged duardin runic advisers when crafting their own rune system. They will also be donating 5% of any treasure gained to charities involved in giving shirts to impoverished duardin youth.

“We hope to honour our duardin allies with our new runes, and build on the rich cultural legacy that they have gifted us.”

Stormcast Eternals given participation medals after battle

Despite a devastating defeat at the Battle of Battered Roofs, the Hammers of Sigmar have recently performed a victory parade through Azyrheim. The ceremony concluded with a speech by Sigmar praising the qualities of his favoured Stormhost, and each Stormcast present was awarded with a medal for their participation. This has caused an uproar amongst the forces of Order, with claims of favouritism and preferential treatment rampant.

Sigmar has pushed back against the accusations, insisting that the awards play an important part in the morale and esprit d’corps of the Stormcast. He has refused to comment on suggestions that Freeguild soldiers in contrast are only issued “You Did Alright” certificates after the most heroic of battlefield achievements.

Nagash has been quick to join Sigmar’s accusers, and has laid the blame squarely at the God-King’s feet for what he considers a weak, coddled population. The Supreme Necromancer has proudly proclaimed that he has never handed out participation trophies himself, except on one occasion to Mannfred after the vampire suffered a particularly humiliating loss to the Halfling Gnomads of the Curet Trail.