Ironclad flees airborne Stonehorn

Terror and fear in the skies above tonight as the Iron Profit, an Arkanaut Ironclad of the Barak-Nar skyport, makes full speed ahead to escape the charge of a maraudering, and unfortunately flying, Stonehorn.

We publish our story on the second day of the Profit’s escape, our news gyrocopter barely keeping pace with the frantic flight. Using an enchanted loud speaker we asked the captain and crew for any comment they wanted to provide, but received only panicked shouts and curses in response.

According to experts on the ground, there are few options available for the fleeing Ironclad. The most popular, though least likely to work, relies on the vessel still maintaining stocks of the previously standard-issue Warp-Lightning-Vortex-in-a-Bottle. Older models grounded their victims when deployed, an ability which could very well save the Iron Profit’s hull today. If the vessel is unable to find such a device, then its options narrow to blasting the Stonehorn out of the sky (which would require a severely unprofitable expenditure of ammunition), or simply hoping that the beast gets bored and stops. Given the notoriously rock-hard brains of the beasts, this last option seems unlikely.

Kharadron Overlord profits up despite grot boycott

The annual profit reports issued by the Geldraad council are appointment reading for the economists of the Realms, representing the total gross revenue streams of all the skyports pledged to the Kharadron Code. Today’s report represents another success for the Kharadron, showing continued profit despite heavy economic headwinds. The finding has generated some surprise in the wider community, but none are more shocked than the Cutbait Grots – a confederation of grots dedicated to fulfilling prophecies of the skyports’ demise.

Microboss Loudnag, leader of the confederation, has refused to comment on the news. They have instead locked themselves away with their most trusted followers, presumably poring over the reports in minute detail to uncover some hidden disaster. Rumours have it that Loudnag is only able to sustain his current standard of living (most famously being able to afford two pet squigs and as many shrooms as he can snort) through the donations of the faithful, an income stream that may dry up should the prophecies prove without substance.

“He probably just has to be patient,” advised financial commentator Helg Shortcall. “Profits rise and fall, and it’s just a matter of time until the Geldraad has an unprofitable year, or at the very least a less-profitable one. If Loudnag can last until then, he can jump back in guns blazing.”

Editor’s note: As we go to print Loudnag has issued his response, proclaiming that the Geldraad’s profit increased at a rate slower than the annual rate of inflation, thus representing an actual loss. Although shaky, the statement appears to have shored up his congregation and they seem as confident as ever of the Kharadron Overlords’ imminent downfall.