The day has been a tough one for Idoneth aelf Luthan Clearwater as she ponders her place in the Mortal Realms, and whether she might be one of the baddies.
On the one hand, proposes the aelf, her people definitely fight against the forces of Chaos, Death and Destruction. They live in an ordered society, engage in good-faith diplomacy with other political factions, and keep the use of spikes in their decor to a minimum. In their ideal world, there would be peace and at least some level of freedom.
On the other hand, they do literally steal souls from innocent villagers. Luthan believes that this ultimately serves a greater good, since aelves use the souls better than any human could, but is starting to think that others might not see it that way. The practice of carving runes of domination and control into the flesh of sea creatures initially had her worried, but surely that isn’t any different to how other civilisations treat their own livestock.
On reflection, Luthan did come to the conclusion that the Idoneth Deepkin are a force of good in the Realms and set her mind at ease. This was particularly good news for her Namarti slaves, who were concerned at being beaten again if she got into a bad mood.
It has been months since Duinclaw, the little crab that could, ascended to godhood on a wave of passionate belief and fanatical faith. In that time the crustacean has tasted all the fruits that divinity has to offer, and has reportedly grown tired of his blessed existence.
“Phlbth,” he burbled to us, exuding a sense of both supreme power and deep-seated weariness.
This exhaustion with godhood is not a new phenomenon, and we have reason to believe that every god has encountered it at some point in their lives. The most common restorative appears to be taking up a hobby, as demonstrated by Khorne’s skull throne, Nagash’s black pyramids, and Teclis’ penchant for murdering his own children.
In order to reflect on his existence, Duinclaw intends to take a holiday for a short while. He leaves his followers in the talented fins of his companion Spinefin, who has promised to continue Duinclaw’s magnanimous reign until he returns. The God-Crab’s own plans are being kept secret to protect his privacy, but rumours indicate he plans to bury himself in sand for a while and perhaps snap his claws at some birds, one of his old favourite pastimes.
Despite hopes to the contrary, the recent reorganisation of the Deepkin military has not affected what some consider to be the Idoneth’s deepest flaw – a complete inability to let other people have a go.
“Every time you think it’ll be different,” confided a landbound general who wished to remain anonymous. “First moments of a battle, it’s fine. But then something clicks and they’re all over you like an ogor at a picnic. My soldiers have been training for months. Do you know how hard it is to tell them they won’t get a chance to swing their swords, just because you saw a wet aelf in the distance? It breaks their little hearts.”
The Idoneth Deepkin on the other hand have taken offence at what they call ‘needless negativity’, explaining that their tendency to jump in is a treasured aspect of their culture. Attempts to reign the aleves in have been labelled an act of jealousy, further inflaming tensions.
The aelves have found an unlikely ally in the Ironjawz, who admire their ability to get stuck in regardless of the supposed proper order. They have extended an invitation for the Deepkin to abandon the alliance of Order and join Destruction, in order to escape having to live with such negativity. The Deepkin are supposedly considering the offer on the provision that the orruks guarantee that Teclis won’t be able to join as well.