After months of financial difficulties, the Grand Conclaves of the Free Cities have bitten the bullet and accepted sponsorships for new Dawnbringer Crusades.

The opportunity has been taken up by several companies, the most prominent being Ulgu’s Various Protective Necklaces (or UlgaVPN for short). They offer a range of affordable talismans that purport to hide you from even Sigmar’s gaze (note from the Order of Azyr: There is no hiding from Sigmar’s gaze).

The sponsorships vary in magnitude, with some only requiring that the sponsor’s emblem be emblazoned on the crusade’s banners. Others require the regular reciting of a pre-written speech, and will immediately withdraw their support if this condition is not met. This has resulted in the decimation of several crusades, who must pause mid-battle in order to fish out their scripts.

As time goes on and the benefits of such sponsorships become clear, more companies are entering the market themselves. Other sponsors include the drug delivery service HelloSlaanesh, leyline building resource Kroakspace, and Raid: Shadow Legends.

Despite a day full of glory and success, Sir Reginald the fabled general has been unable to continue his campaign into a second day due to an increasingly sore back.

“I’m not as spry as I used to be,” admitted Reginald from his position lying flat on the ground. “War nowadays is a young kid’s game.” A quick survey shows that this is not an isolated problem, with many warlords indicating that they require a Parcetemal Potion™ or two to get through multiple days of battle. 

We asked several physicians and Ghyranite wizards for their opinion, and their responses were varied. Many recommended adopting regular stretches and exercise into one’s routine, or wearing supportive footwear. Some also suggested generals bring themselves closer to the battlefield, so as to avoid excessive leaning forward while giving orders. A select few however rejected these practical tips, and instead encouraged generals to engage in nightlong benders in between battles. Supposedly this will recharge the energies of the general, allowing them to function at full effectiveness the next day.

Editor’s note: Since publishing this article we went to double check with the previously mentioned wizards, who confirmed that a night of drinking was likely a terrible idea but would certainly distract attention from any back complaints.

It was a quiet year for Reginald the Oblique, famed Freeguild general. However he has vowed to set the new year off with a bang, submitting a requisition order for “whatever soldiers you have spare at the moment”, and receiving them at a significant discount.

When we last spoke to Reginald, he was engrossed in sorting out his new army. It was a cavalcade of emotions in the war room as he rejoiced over receiving a pair of Stormdrake, and then despaired over the veritable legion of Doomfire Warlocks he now needed to find stables for.

There was a moment of drama when he found Gordrakk, the Fist of Gork, in his list. Supposedly feeling neglected by his own people, Gordrakk was hoping to make the leap to a faction that would appreciate him. Reginald is supposedly considering the offer, and is weighing up the expected tonnage-per-day of aetherwings it will take to keep Bigteef, the surly greenskin’s mount, fed.