Bookstores struggle to honour refund policy on Arcane Tomes

It has been a rough week for bookstores in the wake of Sigmar’s most recent proclamation. Now that wizards are forbidden from carrying Arcane Tomes there has been a surge of attempted returns, and not all stores are handling it well.

“I dunno what I’m gonna do with all dis stock,” complained Gragnok Leafturner, orruk bookseller. “None of my tribe can even read.”

Publishing insiders have exclusively revealed to us one method being used to get rid of excess stock; selling the books as scrap paper to the Kharadron Overlords. With little respect for magic that cannot be put into bottles, and a constant need for surfaces to write and rewrite laws upon, they are an ideal market for those with Arcane Tomes to spare. However, sellers are encouraged to have a lawyer review their returns policy before engaging with the Kharadron – many a bookstore has suffered from unscrupulous duardin employing cloning spells and receiving refunds for far more product than they ever bought in the first place.

Stormcast Eternals given participation medals after battle

Despite a devastating defeat at the Battle of Battered Roofs, the Hammers of Sigmar have recently performed a victory parade through Azyrheim. The ceremony concluded with a speech by Sigmar praising the qualities of his favoured Stormhost, and each Stormcast present was awarded with a medal for their participation. This has caused an uproar amongst the forces of Order, with claims of favouritism and preferential treatment rampant.

Sigmar has pushed back against the accusations, insisting that the awards play an important part in the morale and esprit d’corps of the Stormcast. He has refused to comment on suggestions that Freeguild soldiers in contrast are only issued “You Did Alright” certificates after the most heroic of battlefield achievements.

Nagash has been quick to join Sigmar’s accusers, and has laid the blame squarely at the God-King’s feet for what he considers a weak, coddled population. The Supreme Necromancer has proudly proclaimed that he has never handed out participation trophies himself, except on one occasion to Mannfred after the vampire suffered a particularly humiliating loss to the Halfling Gnomads of the Curet Trail.

Pink Horrors rated least horrific daemon

It has been a tough time for the Horrors of Tzeentch as of late. Not only have they received widespread derision and hostility due to their multiplicitive nature on the battlefield, but they have also just been awarded Least Horrific Daemon by the Azyrite Order of Daemonologists.

“Ultimately what you’ve got is a ball with teeth and limbs,” explained one of the voting members. “And sometimes those limbs have bangles. When you’re up against the necrotic Plaguebearers or hideous Daemonettes, it’s really no contest.”

Tzeentch has been deeply unsettled by the news, and is currently deep within the Crystal Labyrinth taking council from Kairos Fateweaver. The aim is to quickly escalate the horrific nature of Horrors and make them Realm-leading in the field. According to anonymous sources, the most likely path involves equipping them with a powerful ranged attack.