Special Issue: Skink beats odds, slays metallic daemon

After an apocolyptic series of duels, melees, and catastrophic clashes of wit and skill, the skink chief Ga’in’ga’za has triumphed over the mythical beast known only as the Golden Daemon.

The result was a surprise to those who had predicted the battle to go to an individual of more imposing stature and brawn. However the combat was as much a contest of skill as it was of strength, and the clever skink was able to claim the prize through dexterous use of agility and refined technique.

When we approached Ga’in’ga’za in the wake of his victory, we asked for his response to those who said that his size meant that he didn’t deserve the win. Unfortunately our interpreter was unable to make it, so all we understood were the terms for ‘birthing parent’ and ‘the previous night’, followed by what we gathered was a laugh. Hopefully our readers at home can make sense of it.

Builders sued after failing to provide single complete building

After years of letters, threats, and one brief case of military action, the Grand Conclave of Excelsis is taking the Ghurish Builder’s Guild to court after their continued failure to build anything except for half-finished ruins.

The decision reflects the mood of the denizens of Ghur, who for a long time have had to squat in half-completed buildings or crumbling edifices. One mother of three two advised our reporter that the utter lack of roofs had allowed one of her children to be carried off by an enterprising draconith. “We’re good, Sigmar-fearing folk,” claimed the woman. “Why aren’t we allowed floors?”

The Builder’s Guild is unrepentant, and has confirmed their intention to continue building half-structures into the far future. An inside source indicates that the core reason for the decision is an aesthetic choice by their guildmaster, who believes that fully complete buildings don’t properly reflect life in the war-torn Realms. We submitted several questions to the Guild, including whether they felt that a lack of livable homes was driving the population to Chaos worship. They have so far yet to comment.

Sylvaneth seek military edge, deploy dragon

After being on the backfoot for the past few years, the Sylvaneth wargroves have grown sick and tired of being the underdogs. To this end, and while enviously eying the armies of the Stormcast Eternals, the forest spirits have reached back into their ancestral memories and summoned a dragon of their own.

“We are conscious that many enemies, and friends, will be cowering in fear at the sight of the mighty Forest Dragon,” stated Alarielle at a press conference announcing the move. “Please be assured that this is the intended effect.”

The most ancient and wizened of souls are thrilled at the return of the fearsome beast, excitedly sharing faint memories of the World-That-Was with all those that will listen. To hear them speak is to hear of a time when dragons had real character, and armies took to the field in serried ranks with banners fluttering in the wind. A wonderous time, long since past.

To others however, the dragon looks like a green worm with wings. In hushed tones they wonder how the dragon’s abnormally large head was held aloft by its spindly neck, and postulate how its narrow torso could hold more than a single organ. 

Nevertheless, the nay-sayers have had little impact and the wargroves continue to lobby the Everqueen for permission to borrow the dragon. Reportedly this is more due to the fun Tree-Revenants are having soaring over the treetops than any military advantage they might be receiving, but the Sylvaneth are taking all the wins they can get.