Rival Slaanesh worshippers caught in infinite temptation loop

What was originally a simple skirmish between two Slaaneshi warlords has now escalated into a conflict of apocalyptic proportions as each warrior offers and in turn immediately accepts forbidden temptations from their rival.

“It’s not meant to go like this,” confided Lushir Pillowtalker, one of the two warlords. “Normally I offer them pleasures beyond imagination, they accept, and I become empowered by Slaanesh. They’re not supposed to do it back to me!”

There seems to be little hope of a speedy conclusion to the situation, as both warriors continue to summon endless hordes of Daemonettes and Keepers of Secrets. A suggestion that they simply stop giving in to temptation was quickly laughed off, with the two agreeing that they didn’t become Slaanesh worshippers because they were good at saying ‘no’.

Nagash demands Necromancer’s Day in wake of Women’s Day

Taking a break from his ancient grudge against Sigmar, Nagash has turned his wrath against the women of the Mortal Realms. Having been advised by Arkhan that the Realms have just celebrated a holiday recognising women from every walk of life, the Supreme Necromancer has immediately issued an edict demanding that all residents of Shyish observe an Interrealm Necromancer’s Day.

“This has been a long time coming,” announced Arkhan the Spokesliche. “No longer will necromancers, particularly supreme ones, go unrecognised for all their hard work.”

Detractors in Azyr have been quick to criticise the move. They have pointed out that Women’s Day is meant to celebrate a typically disadvantaged group whose work often goes unseen, rather than literal death gods. Arkhan has countered, stating that Sigmar has yet to recognise Nagash’s hard work in corralling the souls of the dead or their shepherding to the afterlife. He did not mention Nagash’s practice of conscripting these souls into his personal armies.

Khorne opens submissions for new word to replace blood-, skull-

After a decade of possessing well-established nomenclature, the Blood God is looking to shake things up. They have sent out a challenge to all the Realms: find a new word for Khorne to beat into the bloody ground.

An early favourite is haemo-, an old human word meaning ‘blood’. Supporters claim that it will add a bit of refinement to Khorne’s legions, though admit it lacks the clear messaging of its predecessors.

Some worshippers have thrown their support behind bone-, suggesting that it provides a neat synthesis between blood- and skull-. This suggestion is unlikely to be chosen though, due to legal threats from Nagash.

The most likely contender however, to the disappointment of many, is simply the word blood- again, but this time written in big capital letters. Khorne is reportedly pleased with the refreshed look, having changed his mind about the whole thing and declaring any sort of change to be dangerously Tzeentchian.