Nurgle word game takes Realms by storm

Sweeping the Mortal Realms faster than the plagues its namesake brews, Nurgle has become a quick favourite for those needing a quick daily break from the age of endless war. Here’s how it works:

A grid of buboes will appear on the user’s skin, typically the thigh or another location with a lot of space. The bearer then has six attempts to guess a word randomly chosen each day, with their guesses becoming imprinted on each fleshy lump. The grid itself will give hints to the bearer, filling with yellow fluid if a letter is correct but misplaced, and squirting celebratory mucus on a correct guess.

The Order of Azyr has taken a grim view of the pastime, citing the daemonic influence and the time wasted at work. Sanitisation stations have been set up to allow those afflicted to have the grid removed without charge, though potential users are recommended to organise a week of work following the procedure in order to recover.

Editor’s note: We have received word that a failure to guess the word after six attempts may result in the player’s belly rupturing with a parade of Nurglings. For players on their sixth guess we recommend staying calm, finding a friend, and consulting your local dictiomancer. 

Nurgle restructures, decimates own armies

Nurgle has struck at the established wisdom of the Realms’ strategists this past week as it becomes clear that his armies will be significantly reduced in size, alongside a general reorganisation of his forces.

Commentators have proposed that Nurgle is working towards a more focused and elite composition in his warbands, a sharp move away from the hordes of Blightkings seen in previous battles. This has surprised some, particularly those who predicted that arms manufacturers would push for larger army sizes to increase their profits. 

Not all are happy with the changes. The Glottkin in particular have vented their concerns, reflecting a fear that their sheer size will prevent their deployment in future battles regardless of their battlefield expertise. Calls for the guidelines to be revised are already being heard in Nurgle’s Garden, despite the fact that they have yet to be released.

Bilepiper branches into daemonic mainstream

Breaking news from our music correspondents as we can exclusively reveal that Gloptrop of the Bloatful Tunes, Realms-famous Bilepiper, has dropped his contract with Nurgle and started his transition into becoming a conventional artist.

“It was a definite risk, for sure,” Gloptrop told our reporters. “But I was dying to express my own truth, not just the Grandfather’s, you know? You can only blast dirges to Plaguebearers for so long until you lose your sense of purpose.”

Rumours have it that the musician has been sighted at the famous Bone Abbey recording studio in Shyish, though the Ossiarch Tunekeepers that staff the facility have remained tight lipped. Gloptrop’s publicist has described the upcoming album as ‘an exploration of life-after-plague, delving into the full spectrum of daemonic emotion’. Glotrop’s traditional gutpipes will be joined with Khornate blooddrums, a Slaaneshi screamharp, and an arcane Tzeentchian instrument known as a Moog synthesiser (named for a particularly musical Lord of Change, R’birt Moog).